Is it possible to truly forgive and forget the wrong that someone does to us?
How do I forgive the drunk driver that ran my kid over and killed him? Even if I do forgive him, can i ever forget his face? Will the scars ever heal?
How do I forgive the woman that accused me of killing his son, when all I did was try to save him by rushing him to the hospital? How was I supposed to know he would die? If I do forgive her,what about the cold nights I spent in the prison? What about the torture, humiliation, the stigma of being an ex-convict, would i be able to forget?
How do I forgive my friend for setting me up to get victimised, while she got paid? Can I still forget and trust her again? Would she still be my friend after I forgive her?
When it comes to forgiveness,it’s a necessity that we must carry out or do. Mathew 6:14 -15 ” For if ye forgive men their tresspasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you, 15-” But if ye do not forgive others their sins, your heavenly father will not forgive your sins.”. Forgiveness is important, when we forgive, we set ourselves free. People’s definition of what forgiveness is, is quite different from what the scripture defines forgiveness as. If you ask randomly what forgiveness is, the answer you will get will vary. To some people, forgiveness is could be letting go of all the negative vibes and energy towards someone. To another, it could be finally speaking to someone they have not spoken to in a long time out of resentment, and so on, ect.
The scriptures definition of forgiveness can be seen in( Romans 5:8) “But God commendeth his love towards us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” Amazing isn’t it? Now, we know forgiveness is a must, but is it humanly possible to forget? My answer is NO. We can forgive but it’s not possible to forget. To every injury we incur on our body there is always a scar. The injury will heal with time,but most of the scars will last a life time. So it is with forgiving and forgetting, we can decide to forgive with time but we will never be able to forget because the human brain is not programmed like a computer system, where you press delete and all the files you don’t need get deleted. In most cases, the deleted files don’t leave the system entirely, they end up in the recycle bin and it requires you going there to permanently delete the files.
Some people say “yes you can forgive and forget, and I wonder how humanly possible that is. How do you get rid of the bitterness and rage that comes along when you are deeply hurt? The only way to get rid of all that is to follow what Ephesians 4:31&32 says ” Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice” 32″ And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”. You won’t be able to forget but when you forgive it makes it easier to see the person that offended you without rage, strive or bitterness.
When people keeps bringing up your offense before you, does it mean they never forgave you? No, it simply means they have not forgotten what you did. It’s possible they have forgiven you but the scars are yet to heal, thereby making it impossible for them to forget.
Only God has the ability to forgive and forget, Psalms 103:12 ” As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us”
When we truly forgive others as Christ forgave us, then we will learn to be kind to one another, and when we are kind to one another, it becomes much easier to relate with those that offended us without hastily and constantly reminding them of their wrongs all the time. Ephesians 4:32.
Forgiveness is a decision and we must continually make conscious effort to obey God and forgive. The people who wronged us may not desire or deserve our forgiveness and may never ever change, but that shouldn’t stop us from setting ourselves free, and improving our mental health.
Like I said earlier, it is impossible to truly forget sins or wrongs that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively “delete” events from our memory just like the computer system.
Forgiveness is quite different from trust, things may never be the same again between us and those that offended us or those we offended. The trust has to be earned and often times the relationship will need to be rebuilt again.
The ideal thing is to forgive and ask God to give us the grace to forget by giving us a heart like His…This should be our Desire constantly.
Forgiven people… Forgive people- Max Lucado