Self-centeredness..#The Root Of Unhappiness!


We can try all we want to prescribe rules and regulations for people to live by, but if their hearts are not changed, they will break our rules and resent us for making them. There will always be a time when we have to realise and admit we are being selfish, but we can only come to this realisation if we learn to be honest to ourselves. Yea, I know it’s not always that easy.

The heart of the gospel and the heart of love is dying to self. If we are truly going to love others, we have to resist self-centeredness in every form. Self-centeredness means being completely focused on ourselves, wants, our desires, our priorities ect. We constantly expect people around us to exist for our benefit and not for themselves. We believe and think they should work to keep us happy, do what we want, and put us first. And by all means they should not do anything to irritate us or get on our nerves, frustrate or inconvenience us. 

William Gladstone once said “Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race” and i completely agree with him. Why do nations fight among themselves? Why so much hatred and resentment​ towards our fellow man? Why all the racist talk here and there? What about terrorist attacks and insurgencies in many nations across the globe? Why so much hunger and starvation in the country, when there is enough resources to go round for every one? Why are the rich getting richer and the poor poorer? Is it not because we prefer to please ourselves at the expense of the lives of other people? What do you call that then? 
Well, personally i feel and strongly believe that self-centeredness as a result of greed is the curse of most Unhappiness, upsets, frustrations, anger, violence, racism, hatred and our inability to enjoy life. The overwhelming majority of the unhappiness, upset, and frustration we feel comes from not having the things we want or from having to deal with situation we don’t want. In most cases those things we desire are not what we need, we just can’t stand the thought of another person especially when we feel they are inferior to have them. When our personal desires are not been met, we fall into discontent and this is selfish.

Oftentimes i hear many single ladies say ” I want to be married. If only i can be married, i would be happy.” This is so not true. If you can not be happy with yourself while single, love yourself, then you can’t find happiness even when you are married. While marriage can be wonderful, simply being married will not make you happy. Being married means another person is present in your life all the time. A person with his own wants, needs, interests, desires, issues ect. It won’t be about you alone anymore, it becomes about you both and if you are self-centered then you will not find happiness and the marriage most definitely won’t work. 

All of this never ending wanting keeps us focused and on ourselves, it breeds selfishness, which keeps us from being thankful for what we do have and from truly loving others. We must learn to be content. We need to be satisfied with what we have and do not have. Moreover, happiness has nothing to do with possessions​, rather it has to do with the condition of our hearts. A selfish heart is never happy, it’s constantly demanding. 

Let’s learn to ask God for what we want or need and trust him to provide. Learn to enjoy where you are on your way to where you are going.. Love unselfishly and enjoy your life and those around you.  1Timothy 6:6 (KJV)  But godliness with contentment is great gain. I want to encourage you to put aside any selfish thoughts and behaviour and seek to be content with yourself, your possessions, and the people with whom you have relationships with. 

Reuben Studdard in one of his songs “Change Me” pointed out the need to accept our loved ones the way they are. Changing them is changing the little things that makes them. It’s not up to us to change anyone, that’s the work of the Holy Spirit. All you have to do is love them and support them. If it becomes toxic and unbearable to you, then walk away. If change must happen then it must come from their heart and it must be willing and not forceful. Be satisfied and content with who they are without demanding they change to make you happy.

Be gracious, merciful, give people a break but most especially give yourself a break and you will find yourself enjoying life and those around you more than ever.
#The best things in life comes in small packages.”

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36 thoughts on “Self-centeredness..#The Root Of Unhappiness!

  1. Wow, a nice article again, what I can say about it, well when I was a young boy, time time ago hahaha, I knew a lovely german woman at least to me and unfortunately she don´t know lots of colors in the human relations all tones only black or white no grey…
    Unfortunately I met in a causal encounter in Mexico and she´s the center of the world and she ain´t the sun, lovely, beautiful and you´re the only culprit of all trouble cos she´s perfection and when you talking about it she don´t talk and only culprit you and this encounter could be a citizen in a dungeon, no thanks our lives are beautiful when you´re seeing flowers and details… no more stormy relationship hahaha
    Regards and all the best… a big kiss
    David

    Center with head and brain could be wondrous things if you aren´t prepotent.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi again, my german friend was a german fiend and no news from her in a long time, unfortunately she´s victim of bipolar conduct and when I told my humble opinion I must be a demon hahaha, unfortunately I don´t understand lots of human being and I could be a rare creature between them hahaha. A big kiss. Fortunately I got lovely mexican friends in Mexico… hope is possible!

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I’m glad to hear that. That’s wonderful. You are welcome. I’m doing okay. My day was okay. I was struggling today. I got some cleaning done in my kitchen and now I’m just resting. I’m going to work on getting my novel published.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. “We must learn to be content. We need to be satisfied with what we have and do not have.” Sorry, but this kind of thought is exactly what an unequal society wants people must think about. I suggest to move your focus not exclusively on the selfishness of human being. The selfishness is a natural condition of life: to live we must eat. The first law for a community organized in society is to ensure the survival for all their persons. When a society doesn’t ensure this elementary condition for all, the objectives of the society must be thought again. So, the care of our selfishness, the rational restriction of our instincts, are all good principles. But we must pay attention and be the most careful when we find ourselves to think: “we must be happy of what we do not have and also we must be happy of what we’ll never have”, because this is the typical thought of whom is conducting an unequal society want their people think of all about.
    Cheers, my dear. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We may live in an unequal society but the ideology of every society is egalitarianism. Even though this may not be publicly displayed or written. As individuals it’s our duty to look beyond our needs and desires and care for our neighbours. We will always have wants and desires but the ability to find happiness when all our needs and desires are not met makes the difference. We can only be equal if we see ourselves as one regardless of class, status, race ect. Thank you dear for your honest contribution​. Have a great day.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. i have been doing well, gthank you. but it has been very hot here in socal and it is too early to be this hot.
        should we not have wants and desires? if we do, then we should be prepared for the suffering they may bring.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Self-Centred people do not realise that they are indeed selfish they believe that right about everything that leads them to become selfish and in selfishness they become less self aware of others needs and thus the circle is complete and that’s the life of self centred- NESS and the downfall of many … We should pray that they see the light of God that exists in all men and women as it one day they may see the lesser light that is lit by the the greater light … Amen 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

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