Unfaithful!


In our world today infidelity is one of the leading causes of marital conflicts, abuses and divorce. The question ; why do we cheat on our partners will never stop trending. My recent Research conducted at the university of Lagos showed me that the notion of infidelity lies more with the male folks than the female counterparts.
Most female students were of the opinion that ; men loves variety, men loves to cheat, it’s simply in their nature etc… Very few females had a different opinion.

When I spoke with the men, they also had something to say. Some ignorantly concurred with the ladies that it’s simply in their nature, while many others gave the following reasons ; my girl isn’t fun, my wife nags, my wife is clueless, my girlfriend is an introvert and I love the outdoors, it’s a man’s world etc.

I understand that everyone has affairs they deal with in their relationships, but the affairs of the heart and infidelity seems more consuming than any other. The issue of infidelity seems to be one of the major reasons why marriages and relationships crumble. An average university student in Nigeria(Lagos precisely) already has the mindset that she needs to date more than one man so as not to get her heart broken they are always on the defensive by saying “Men would always cheat” and of course this notion results from either the family background, experience, peer pressure and influence, societal norms etc.

Unfaithfulness is the direct and express reason why most if not majority of marriages end in divorce and many relationships grow sour or gets broken. The question I haven’t stopped asking is “Can any marriage survive infidelity? Can any relationship survive infidelity? I’m of the opinion that it can still be mended but it will take a considerable amount of time for any form of healing and trust to take effect again but do you think so too?

In my quest to find more answers to this question, I saw a movie by Richard Gere titled” Unfaithful ” and the movie goes way back. In this marriage or relationship the adage that says men would always cheat didn’t play out. The act of infidelity was carried out by the woman, a singular act almost destroyed her home and everything she had built. The union was savaged by her husband who had to kill her lover. The irony here is that not many relationships survive after any act of infidelity. Ten out of a hundred survive. Why? The emotional trauma, stigma, lack of trust, hatred, bitterness, insecurities it brings alongside it, is not always easy to handle.

The truth is times have changed. There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships, when relationships were considered precious and marriage sacred. In particular, sexual relationships within a marriage. Sadly, the pillars that hold up our individual sexual values seems to have crumbled. What used to be valued and respected is now being debated on and doubted seriously. Love isn’t a game and neither should our relationship become one.

If you’re not matured enough to handle one, why have two?
Fellas, I understand that you will always want sex and freedom but you must put your masculinity and libido under check, be responsible for your actions and remember that women needs to be loved and nurtured…

Ladies

Ladies I understand that you’re emotional and highly sensitive beings but endeavor to be open and make investments in your relationships. Be it physical, physiological, emotional investment for they are all critical to ensuring a faithful partner. Communicate with him, pay attention to his likes and dislikes. Don’t play the mind game with him and tag him “cliche” when he does something wrong. Make room for a healthy relationship and it begins with you having a healthy mindset.

I’ll pen down here for now!

29 thoughts on “Unfaithful!

  1. Exactly I would also like to know your closing sentence for women. Don’t typecast men so easily. Yes I do agree they men are mostly responsible for Infidelity, but not all of them.
    Marriage has lost it’s sanity in this modern world. Enjoyed reading your post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha… OK vishal4u, my closing statement was more on the men because I am still carrying out the research and so far men seems to get most of the blames.
      I’m also aware that women are not entirely innocent… Nevermind, I will see to it that I make it proportional.
      Thank you for your insightful response.
      Have a blessed week ahead.

      Like

      1. I don’t mean to support men at all, I just wanted it be a message for both of them. Once again thanks for sharing your research with us. Wish you all the best and enjoy your weekend. 😊

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    1. Thanks Kamal. I thought about you yesterday and this morning and promised to visit your blog space to see how you’re doing. I’m glad you reached out and also shared your thoughts.
      Indeed infidelity seems to be the watch word to look out for in our world and relationships today.
      Have a great week ahead.

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  2. i am not sure if humans are to be monogamous. bio;logically speaking. and have been forced to be by society and religion. it isnt just men who stray, but women too. and, in my research, which is not extensive in any way, the reasons are varied and usually the same for the man or woman. each stop working on the relationship. it takes both to maintain a relationship. expectations are not met or shared. one may have entered the relationship with unrealistic goals/reasons. but what is fact, the woman usually comes out on the short end of a relationship that ends.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well said buddy. It isn’t just men that stray. There seems to be a lot of reasons why people get into one relationship or the other. Even those that claims to be in love still fall short at the end of the day.
      Is there any justification for infidelity? I mean Instead of making excuses, why not leave if you’ve done everything possible to make the relationship work and it still isn’t working?
      Thanks buddy for sharing your discoveries with us.
      Have a great day.

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      1. i dont think it is up to outsiders to validate the justification of a relationship’s infidelity. yes there are “excuses” but just maybe the reasons to leave are truly harder than to just be in the relationship and another one too. then there are the psychological reasons which are even harder to deal with.
        this subject is always an interesting subject to discuss.

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  3. Infidelity is a common words to human beings and I hate cliches… when you get a light in a candle and it was off it could be to different situations and no treating as manual, infidelity the same …unfortunately human being is a common case of Doctor Jekyll & Mr Hyde and I ain’t an expert… no looking for simple reason

    Liked by 2 people

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