Knowing How To Help…


Hi everyone,

Very often I hear people say things like – “I want to help but I just don’t know how to”, “How do I help when I would end up getting reprimanded?”, “My kindness is regarded as show-off so I just don’t see myself helping”, “There’s always a misconception attached to every act of kindness I show”, “Something keeps pulling me back every time I try to help”, “I get nervous each time some one asks me for help”,etc.

While Grace to give doesn’t give any one a license to act as though they are superior and better than others, the judgementalism that comes from insisting that others live by our standards has caused untold damage. It’s human nature to want to show compassion to those who are feeble and weak around us, but at the same time there’s always a paralyzing venom that comes out of us and makes it difficult for us to receive compassion of any kind from people. Most friendships and relationships have been fractured by a judgemental attitude and critical look.

Today, I will be recommending a few tips on how to help:

. Firstly you have to realize that miracles happen in ordinarily moments and that every time we step in and solve a problem for others, miracle happens!

. You must be prepared when your time comes. You can’t give what you don’t have, you can’t tell what you don’t know. You can’t share what you don’t feel and you can’t give out of a vacuum. The fact is, nothing great is created suddenly ; it takes time. To help anyone, you must be prepared.

. You need to know what you have and what you don’t have. Not everything you have is meant to be given away, some things are meant for your keeps and some others for those that needs your help. Until you learn to differentiate this, you’ll never know how or when to help.

. You must be comfortable in your own skin and confident in your calling. If you must help, just help, don’t take over. If you teach people on how to give, stick to your teaching and practice what you preach. Be careful not to get too bossy.

. You must avoid manipulation all in the name of giving. If you are called to give to any one in distress, be quick to respond and when you do, don’t allow yourself get irritated with them or distressed by them.

. Always keep a smile on your face when you help. Love from the center of who you are, love like God asked us to; Don’t fake it!

. You must learn to recognize the difference between what people want and what they truly need. Sometimes the help they truly need could be a smile, a hug, a walk, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or even a companion for the moment. The help they need could be comfort and not correction.

. You can’t help anyone until they are ready. For better understanding of this we must know the difference between those that need solutions and those just looking for sympathy. The person you are helping should be able to understand and accept the help you are offering.

Very often in our lives we want to do things quickly and move on to the next thing. When things didn’t move at our speed, we breezed right past them. This often hinders our ability to connect with others and our relationship ends up suffering. This can be very frustrating and our faith and patience gets stretched in the process. Moving at the speed of another person can be exhausting, it takes energy and no one likes that, not even those that need your help!

To really help people we must love them, recognize what they need and not what we believe or assume they need, know what to offer, and connect with them at the point of their need. We must be willing to slow down and go at their own pace.

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24 thoughts on “Knowing How To Help…

  1. Helping is good no doubt but before we render any help we have to know if it would be detrimental to us or to them. Sometimes in the beginning it looks like it is all good but at the end it’s horrible.
    Helping is biblical, it’s a way of showing love. It paves way for friendship, blessing and communal development.
    It all depends why we do help.

    Your message is well noted. It’s essential in daily living.

    Thanks, good lady, for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Whitney its like you know my life right now. I have had a very troubling challenge with this in recent months to where it has crippled close unions. It Is definitely a journey and sometimes a 2 way street. you touched all points. I am so sharing this!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank OhLyve, I can relate to where you are coming from. Life is a journey and as we travel, we learn new roads, new maps, new things and we keep learning.
      I truly appreciate your kind words and gestures too. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Nice entry again help is a curious word , all human beings are different and best advice is don’t think twice it’s alright… all for one and one for love and you can be a musketeer ta!

    Like

  4. I’m so glad you posted this. I had a chance to help a girl that rides my bus. She was sitting in the bathroom in the school I work at and she was so upset. I just sat there with her and tried to talk with her. I just talked with her. In the end her best friend came and took her to the next class I hugged her. I told her I was here if she needed me. Then yesterday she was waiting to go into the counselor’s office and she was crying. I hugged her and told her that she was going to be okay. I’ve been thinking about her a lot and I prayed for her. I’m going to keep praying. I know God is going to work in her and he will take care of her. All it takes sometimes is just being there with someone. Words are important, but sometimes all someone needs is for you to just be there and not be judgemental. It was awesome. I cherish that moment. I truly cherish it. I know that it was given to me by God. It was awesome.

    Like

    1. I’m really happy to hear that you are a source of joy and blessings to the little girl. There’s no greater joy than the joy of knowing that you are doing what God has called you to do.
      No act of kindness is too little or too small, every one of them counts and they go a long way than we can ever imagine. Our lives should be a blessing and not a lesson or warning.
      Keep doing the best you can. It will be remembered someday and thank you very much for sharing with us ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amen. That’s so true. He has called us all to do something. That’s so true. You just never know what an act kindness will do for someone else. Thank you I will try. You’re welcome. I hope it helps someone else.

        Like

  5. Perhaps according to popular lore we helping people why they’re more feeble than us and we’re showing our power.
    A thing is sure all things you won’t to you no to the other.

    Like

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