If you have children, give them help, guidance, and protection to the best of your ability, but more importantly, give them space, space to be who they’ve been destined to be. It is true they came into this world through you and you desire the best for them, but while you desire to give them the best, ensure you don’t get them choked up.
The more expectations you have of them and how their life should be or unfold, the more you are in your mind rather than be present for them. The belief of parents, ” I know what’s best for my child“, may be true when they are young, but the older they get, the less true it becomes.
As a parent, you’ve got to be conscious of parenting. Give your child as much help and guidance as you can. As they grow, allow them to make their own mistakes especially as they begin to reach adulthood. Oftentimes, what you consider as mistakes may be exactly what they need to do and experience at that point in time, to learn and grow.
They will certainly make mistakes no matter how you shield, guard and monitor them. They will also experience setbacks, sufferings, disappointments, failures, as all humans do, its all part of life. We can’t avoid it. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could spare them from all the sufferings, you may ask?
No, it wouldn’t! They would end up being shallow minded, not knowing what actually gives and what doesn’t. Mistakes will get them sour, but it will also drive them deeper and cause them to discover more ways to do things better. It will help them become masters of their field.
Many children harbor hidden anger and resentment toward their parents and often the cause is a lack of authenticity in the relationship. The need for parents to enforce their will, authority and personality over their children has led many to forget that they are a human being and so are their children. They’ve forgotten to love them warts and all. They focus more on their role as a parent rather than actually be there for their children.
It’s okay to feel like you’re doing everything for your child right, but you must remember that doing the best you can is not always enough. You will not only lose yourself but your children if you keep doing rather than be there.
How do you become a better father or mother to your child? The key is to give your child attention. As you look, listen, touch, or help your child with one thing or the other, you become more aware and conscious of their personality, still completely present. Not wanting anything other than that moment just the way it is.
Mastery of life is not always a question of “who is in control”, but of finding a balance between you and your relationship with your child. Parents, you have to do whatever is required of you in any situation by your child but don’t allow it become a role you’ve got to identify with thereby losing what is truly important to your child and what he or she needs to learn.
Blessings and Love