Hello everyone! Top of the day to you all. Today, as I was returning home from work, I saw a mother forcing the child to accept a present she was offering. The child kept pushing it off and kept pointing to something of less value to the mother.
She wanted him to have the expensive gift she was offering him. To her, the little boy having the expensive gift is the best way for her to express her love to him. The little boy didn’t see it that way. I couldn’t help but ponder over this as I journeyed home.
Many parents and grandparents speak the language of gifts excessively. Maybe it’s just me but then I can’t help but state the obvious. In fact, when one visits the toy stores, one would begin to wonder if parents believe that this is the only language of love children understand.
If parents have the money, they tend to buy many gifts for their children. Some believe that is the only way to show love. Leaving me asking, “what happens when you’re unable to get them gifts anymore, does it mean you no longer love them? Or perhaps you don’t know how else to show them you love them?
Some parents try to do for their children what their parents were unable to do for them. They buy things that they wish they had had when they were kids. Well, unless that is the primary love language every child understands, then gifts may mean little emotionally to the child.
It’s also logical that the parents have good intention, but they may not be meeting the emotional needs of the child by giving gifts. If the gifts you give are quickly laid aside, if the child seldom says ” thank you”, if the child does not take care of the gifts that you have given, if she /he does not prize the gifts you’ve given, chances are receiving gifts is not what truly matters to the child.
But very often we don’t pay attention to these signs. If on the other hand, your child responds to you with much thanksgiving, if she shows others her gifts and tells them how wonderful you are for buying the gift, if she takes care of it and puts it in a place of prominence in her room, then receiving gifts is her own natural way of letting you know she feels loved.
While we want the best and desire the best for our children, we must learn to listen to what they have to say, how they express their thoughts, their reactions to delicate matters and how they perceive love.
Remember, it’s not the quality or cost of the gift; it is the “thought that truly counts. As a parent, ask yourself these questions before you tag your child ungrateful or spoiled :
- Am I buying him/her this gift because I know it would be of benefit to them?
Am I buying him/her this gift to silence them?
Is this gift truly what they need at this point in their life?
Is this the only way of letting them know I love them?
What happens when I can not afford to get such an expensive gift anymore for them?
Many gifts can be handmade, and sometimes the child would appreciate that gift more than an expensive, manufactured gift. You don’t need to have all the money before you can get your child a gift or show them you love them.
Study your ward. Discover what makes them tick or trip, learn how they react to expressions of love and work your magic around it.
Blessings and Love
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