The Dark Side Of Falling In Love….


Falling in love with the right person is beautiful but falling in love with the wrong person and for the wrong reasons is cruel and dangerous. Love is beautiful, kind, patient, never doubting, believing, it’s not about the touch down of friday night’s game, it’s not about being with the popular crowd, it’s not selfish, it’s not rude, it’s not conceited, it’s not hateful, it’s not proud, it’s not egoistic. But when we love or fall in love with the wrong person it becomes Vice-versa. It becomes a night mare.  Like i always say “The power of love that God has given us is so strong that I have seen it tear down walls and flatten every mountain”. But when we love of our own strength we grow weary and love..becomes sour and hateful.

I have heard stories of the dark side of love. Love has a certain attraction to it that people can actually resistance.  A woman saw a painless solution to all her problems in a man. She did not realize how harmful love could be when she was being seduced by this man and so jumped willingly into the relationship. Another aspect to consider is how this man falls in love with this woman to begin with. This young man only loves the woman because she is beautiful and not because she has a good and beautiful soul (of which this is the world we live in where people only love the body and not the soul). Shortly after that the woman has an accident that made her loose her facial beauty and that was the beginning of the end of the so called love. This demonstrates how love is an obstacle and dark. He was obviously affected by her beauty and purity but now begins to  question every of his actions when he says, “Shall I, or not?” 

This scenario is but a few of the many dark sides to love. Oftentimes we don’t realise how harmful some love can be until we’ve been hurt and very few survive the hurt. Love binds romantic partners together before sex and any other thing. The more we feel connected to the ones we love when we are in love, is the same way we feel disconnected from them when everything comes crashing down.

Hearing “I love you” from your loved ones is beautiful and gratifying but it becomes dangerous when they stop loving you and yet say i love you. They keep you bounded to lies, abuse you when they want to and blindfold you with fake love. They make you loose your voice and reduce you to nothing because they know you are still in love with them. 

Just as love is beautiful, its dark side can never be overated. We need to study our prospective partner before we jump into any relationship. You never get to know until you are in. I know we can not tell our heart who to love but we sure can decide if we want that love or not when it becomes toxic. Love shouldn’t be endured, it should be enjoyed. Fall in love for the right reasons and when it becomes toxic and choking please walk away. Never belittle yourself all in the name of love, love is deserving and you surely you deserve to be loved by the right person and for the right reasons..

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49 thoughts on “The Dark Side Of Falling In Love….

  1. hey Whitney would you hold onto a relationship with someone if they were abusive physically and you had kids with them? I think verbally abusive you can work on but physical is like throwing yourself in the fire hoping not to get burned. the darkest relationship I ever heard was one mentioned in the doco nefarious where a woman was pimped by her first love and she did it willingly to help get him out of debt :O

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    1. to me, abuse is abuse. to stay in a abusive relationship usually means someone lacks self worth. to stay make losers of all involved and may/can have long term issues that go well beyond the current relationship as children of the couple learn it is OK to be abusive. one must stop the progression.

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      1. I don’t see any reason why anyone should stay in an abusive relationship and subject oneself to pain and discomfort. Personally, I don’t think I can. Thanks buddy, it’s so nice of you to share.

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      2. you are totally right I see the behaviour replicated in the lives of the kids where one parent abuses the other and I also find myself imitating aforementioned abominable behaviour perhaps not in physical action but in mental attitude so that scares me enough to get to stepping 🙂

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    2. Thank you dear for sharing with us and to answer your question, I am not sure I can stay in an abusive relationship especially when it is physical. If children are involved, then we have to find a way to have a peaceful dialogue and mutual settlement where we can co-parent the children together. Its not always easy believe me especially when you loved the person dearly but then disappointments are not meant to destroy you. They are meant to strengthen you. I believe some of us have seen the dark side of love so you are not alone my dear. Thank you once again. It’s so good to have you here

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  2. Beautiful piece Whitney. I’m currently dating for the first time in a while and this is just what I needed. I have had four ex boyfriends and the first two I fell for pretty hard and the last one was just not good either. This one I’m currently dating I think is a keeper, but we’ll see. Thanks again for sharing this piece. I really needed this. 🙂 Have a wonderful day my beautiful friend!!

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    1. I am happy to hear that you are dating again. I also pray he will be a keeper and make you happy. You deserve to be happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Be happy and stay safe. Thank you for sharing with us

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  3. the old saying…”love is blind” really can apply to many. there are so many reasons people will stay with someone and the word “love” usually pops up as the “reason”. but mostly people stay or get into a relationship out of fear as they dont have their own self worth.
    this was one of your better writes. 🙂

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  4. Great write up on the subject, but just one correction. There is no such thing as a dark side of love. Love is only light. Any other view/ approach/ experience of it is fake love = lust, not love. Love is neither evil nor capable of it in any way. It only has one essence, that which aligns purely with the word of God.

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    1. Sure, but when a love that is meant to bring light and happiness brings nothing but saddens I see it as being dark. I know God is love and in him is no shadow of turning back. Thank you for sharing with us. It’s very thoughtful of you. God’s blessings always.

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      1. I understand what you meant totally. Actually I have been there, experienced it, felt the pain etc but even before I came to know the Lord truly, I had a deep sensing this could not be love. I know its supposed to be & it gets dark. But now that I know God & found true love, I know those dark experiences of ‘love’ wasn’t real love to begin with… It was as fake & evil as ever. What i’m getting at is the fact that love is incorruptible. I would more call the ‘dark side of love’ the opposite or absence of love for love is incapable of having a dark side. As always its a pleasure reading your posts. I pray anyone who has been hurt by fake love find the love, peace & healing that is in Christ. Blessings & love😊

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  5. I always told my sons to watch their heart when it came to girlfriends. I wanted them to respect the girl they dated and get to know them not just for how they looked but for what they believed in and for who they were.

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    1. That’s a good one Ma’am, a good principle as well to guide them. There’s always a thin line between love and hate and most time we don’t see the dangers done until it becomes too late. Thank you Ma’am for sharing with us. I appreciate it.

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  6. https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsThe problem is love never comes and knocks on your door. It just knocks the door down and attacks with all its might. So first and foremost we must love ourself so so so soooooooo much that when love attacks with all it’s might we do not go crazy and embrace it and try to contain it afterwards and then get burnt at the end. We can never know right or wrong when it comes to love till we are half way down. And the only way we can build so much love for ourself is by having it broken for no reason many times. 🙂

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  7. https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsLove is constantly a word that is thrown around. When we meet somebody who we find to be interesting and we a connection we assume to love them because it feels right but its not always right. Love goes deeper. Can you really explain love? Is it visual? Is it emotional? What words can I use to explain the feelings have towards someone that leaves me speechless? Love is an amazing thing & we conquer so much through it.

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    1. Love is best explained in a language that can easily be understood especially by those who acknowledges it and appreciates it too. There is always a thin line between love and hate but when it happens its always beautiful and genuine. I believe love can be seen but this is through our actions and it can be felt too. Our desire to do things right and do right by those we love is a force that always leaves us speechless anyday anytime. God is love and that makes love beautiful and amazing. Thank you for your wonderful contribution, I truly appreciate it. God bless you.

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  8. https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsI have this friend. Beautiful girl, she is actually in a relationship because she’s scared to be alone. Thats what she tells me. I don’t know what to respond anymore. I told her already if he doesn’t make you happy don’t stay. You’re not gonna be alone. Any tips ? Since I love writing about Love but seriously I have to advise for her anymore.

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    1. Its always hard to deal with loneliness, most people don’t do well around it and unfortunately your friend is one of them. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time, your attention, your love, your concern. Your friend needs to know that she is loved and she is important and she doesn’t have to be a slave of love or for love. There’s nothing much more beautiful in this world. Than a person who cares and she deserves to be cared for. Pls tell her to face her fears and she will discover how strong she truly is. Love will find her if she believes and don’t give up. I wish her all the best and may the best love find her. Thank you for dropping by and sharing with us. Its highly appreciated.

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    1. Love is everything good and much more. I know what its like to be in the midst of people who dont even know you exist much less care about you. Be real and never compromise what you believe in and you will find peace. Not only that the right ones will stay and the wrong ones will leave even before the break of dawn. You will be fine. Find love all around. God bless you.

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